Life Lesson, from Lauren, at 11PM

Today we bought a wheel barrow at Home Depot. The salesman untied it from all the others and brought it to me inside to pay for. It had a scratch on it, so to be funny I said "It has a scratch, can I get a discount?" Thinking - this will be hilarious, we're going to use this wheel barrow to haul rocks and dirt around and it will be all scratched up by 10am tomorrow. The man said "Sure, how's a $5 discount sound?" He didn't even crack a smile. I would have been ticked that he didn't laugh at my joke if he didn't give me the discount. Moral of the story is, always ask for a discount on faulty goods, even if it's just as a joke.

Once I bought a donut at a grocery store and ate half of it before checking out, then I asked the cashier for a discount because someone had eaten half of my donut. She seriously contemplated my request but then the friend I was with laughed too much for her to honor my request. Moral of that story is, never take a friend who thinks you are funny to the store with you. And, to bid you goodnight, a picture of Blaze and me. Don't judge us, we've had a rough week.

Goodnight! 

Lauren 

Running

Today I went for an 8 mile run and I saw a bear cub. It was so cute I thought it was fake. Then when I realized it was real I high tailed it out of that area because I figured the bear momma was not far away. I tried to wave to two cars that drove by tell them to look at the bear cub, but they just thought I was frantically waving hello apparently as the both drove right by. This sighting and long run got me thinking about how I have not really updated any of you on my running since the last race I did.

I have three updates. I think all are quite crazy, and am wondering which you think is the most crazy.

Here goes. First up, I am coaching middle school Cross Country again this Fall. I told everyone who would listen that I was not going to do it again but then I forgot my reasons and agreed to do it. I think I know more about the sport now, and will be more of a hard a$$ this season and not let the kids push me around. Heck, I am twice their age, I should be about to show some authority or authoritah, depending on if they will get South Park references or not.

New shoes for all my training.

Second, in September Charlie and I will be running Pisgah Trail Race. It's a 23K which is like 14ish miles. We both did it last year and it was really fun so I am excited to do it again. Looking at that old post made me remember that I threw away my fuel belt after the race so I should probably look into buying a new one, since I hate my running backpack/camel pack.

Third, a few weeks ago I was taking a nap (ah summer schedule) and Charlie said "Want to sign up for the lottery to do Stone Cat?" In a painting induced haze I agreed. He signed us both up for the lottery. Once I came to on the couch and asked what the heck he was talking about he said "Stone Cat is a trail marathon, there is a lottery to get into it." Ha, I laughed, no need to worry, I never win anything. Never win anything except lotteries to get into marathons you got tricked into signing up for! I have the best luck ever. Charlie also won the lottery so he'll be running it too. He said he won't run it with me thought because I take too long and he doesn't want to be "on his feet" for 7 hours. But apparently it's A Okay for me to be on my feet running for 7 hours.  It will also be fun (positive thinking). My brother in law and sister in law have also agreed to come to see us run, and our friends are letting us stay with them, hopefully, the night before.

Since it takes me 7 hours to run long distances I need chafe protection. 

I also figure this race will keep me in relatively good shape into the winter months when I tend to put on some "Holiday weight".

Start carbo loading before you start even training, it's how to pros do it. 

So which do you think is the craziest? Since my last survey was such a huge success I made another. 

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world's leading questionnaire tool.

I would apologize for all of the youtube links, but I'm not really sorry. Goodnight! Lauren 

Summer Tank

Two weeks ago sewed a summer tank top for myself. See I told you I was sewing. Then the weather was too cold to wear it, and then I wore the shirt, and shorts for three days in a row waiting for Charlie to take my picture. And then the stars aligned, the sun came out, and Charlie agreed to take my picture. 

The pattern is Simplicity 1693. Very simple. Surprisingly I did not change anything about the pattern. I had tried to make this shirt over the winter with some sale fabric and it was a disaster which ended up in shreds, then in the trash. (Whenever a project doesn't work out I MUST tear it to pieces to make myself feel better. Learned that move from my Mom. Anyone else do that?) Anyways, I was leery of the pattern, but it turns out my fabric choice this winter was to blame, not the pattern. 

As with most of my sewed clothing, it is a tiny purple flower print. Learned that preference from my Mom as well. I like the elastic around the waist, and the keyhole in the back. I did not sew a button hole for this, it only asks you to make a loop out of thread. Easy enough. Even easier still is that I can take the top on and off without even unbuttoning it.

Sometimes I realize how egocentric blogging is. Here look at some more pictures of ME! Here's one of me with my plants. I haven't killed them yet, nor has all the rain. 

Lastly, in case you need some Lauren Cheese-Factor. Here you go. 

Luckily I can now change my outfit. 

Lauren 

Recently

Hi Peeps! We are back from our Maine vacation. I (purposely) forgot my computer at home and took a break from blogging. I apologize if you were anxious about my whereabouts and doing-abouts. Here's a catch up. Recently I have:

• Hosted a party, cut down two trees, at said party, and laughed a lot. 
• Driven around the great state of Maine.
• Gone to a party, played corn hole, and lost terribly, went down a homemade slip and slide, got really muddy, and hurt my arm. Laughed so hard I couldn't tell the next morning if my abs hurt from laughing or if I had internal bleeding. 
• Been to Alewives Fabric, and still have money in my bank account. Miraculous! 
• Almost ran out of fuel in my mom's new diesel car. Bought an ice cream as a reward for not running out of fuel, and nearly gaged as I bit into it and a pungent cow poop smell wafted into my nostrils at the exact same time. 
• Saw a mailbox outside of a cemetery. Laughed a bit too much about that sight. So much so that I don't have a picture. 
• Held a brand new baby. 
• Played cribbage three times. Lost to Charlie three times. Still haven't hit him over the head with the cribbage board. I consider that a win. 
• Hung out with some very good friends. Realized how much I miss those very good friends. Was glad we are still able to fall back into being together like we'd just seen each other yesterday. Laughed some more
• Went swimming with my 10 year old, soon to be 11 year old, cousin. 
• Went for a boat ride in the rain.
• Hung out with the puppies.
• Dog faced myself. I am not sure that's a real thing, but it should be. (see last picture.)

Summer is off to a good start. The weather has not been fabulous but I suppose I can't complain.

I'll be back soon with some sewing projects!

Lauren

Stairs= My Third Most Traumatizing Fear

This post has a purpose, I think. I just need you to stick with me while I get there.

My parents built our house so it was a work in progress for most of my childhood. When I was in late Elementary School they build an addition which involved a play room downstairs and an office and sewing room upstairs. This meant moving the basement door down a half flight of stairs and opening up the stairway to the playroom. So from the kitchen you can go upstairs to the bedrooms or downstairs to the celar or playroom (which is now my brother's bedroom). The problem with this was that there is this open space there. It was fine in the day time because you could see down the stairs to the playroom, the trouble was at night when the lights were off that the stairs to the playroom were super dark and I always got scared that someone was hiding on the stairs and would grab my leg when I went upstairs to bed. If I was the last one to go to bed I always had to turn the kitchen lights off, which meant standing in the darkness. For the most part I just ran and tried to jump past the open spot so no one could grab me. When I got to visit, I still do that. I realize writing this how crazy it sounds. In all 20 years of living in that house no one ever grabbed me, no one was ever hiding, I am an educated adult and know that monsters don't exist. And yet, I am still freaked out by open stairs.

see....that's my petrified face. 

Why am I wiring about this you ask? Well, because our new house has open stairs in the basement. The basement where my sewing room is. The sewing room that I spend time in by myself. I have thought about just taking the back door out of the house and walking around the outside of the house to skip taking the stairs. Talk about crazy. I don't walk around but I do ask nicely for Charlie to come downstairs with me, which he does, all while making jokes about how scary it is. I'm not so freaked out by going down, more so going back up.

Charlie monster=scariest monster ever. Wouldn't you be afraid of a monster with a GPS watch?

I keep telling myself to get over it. That doesn't seem to be working though. I'm thinking I should just accept that this is something I will always have an irrational fear of. At least I'll be in shape from running up the stairs at full speed, leaping 4 steps at a time.

I'll admit, this was not where I was going with this post. Sorry. Hope the idiotic pictures deter you from  the mindless ramblings of a 27 year old with a crazy fear of stairs.

Lauren

P.S Don't even bother asking me about my first and second most traumatizing fears....I can't even go there!

P.P.S I just googled "What floor of a house do most murders happen on?" expecting the answer to obviously be the basement. Well, I did not find the answer I was looking for and have decided to never sleep again! Don't google things you're already afraid of is the moral of that story.

General Musings on our Canadian Ski Vacation

Did you know Canadians measure temperature in Celcius and time in Military time? There's a big sign thing at the top of the mountain that tells you the temperature and the time, I'm mostly confused. People keep saying "it's negative 2" and I think they mean fahrenheit which would be super cold, but its really only 27, which isn't that bad. And why is fahrenheit so hard to spell? Also if its past 1 o'clock I have no idea what time it is because my brain doesn't work in military time. 14 hundred is hot chocolate time to me.

Canadian women wear lipstick when they ski. First of all, not a speck of my skin shows for the most part when I ski, and second, the last thing I care about is if I have on lipstick. I'm too worried about frostbite and falling and biting off my tongue to worry about lipstick. The fact that I own one tube of lipstick probably weights in on this as well.

I don't have lipstick on, I just pinched my lips.

Canadians use a lot of windshield washer fluid, and they make art out of the empty bottles.

People here speak French. The extent of my French language knowledge is: "Voule vou achoucher avec moi?" Not something I want to actually say to anyone.

Especially not him. 

I also know how to say "Bonjour!" For the first day I said it to a bunch of people thinking it would help me fit in. Not so much. It could be that I butcher the language so badly that everyone knows I am an impostor, or that no one actually says hello to everyone they see.

If someone around me is speaking a different language I automatically assume they are talking about me. Today someone definitely was talking about me, he was point his ski pole right at me. For the most part though I try to play it off as me being paranoid.

Every annoying thing I do I think "Oh no, I am THAT American".

This picture doesn't really fit here but I thought it was funny. 

I feel like I am in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley when walking around the village.

Charlie crashed into me the first run of our first day and his skis ended up in the woods. Moral of the story is, don't take a black diamond on your first run with freshly waxed skis.

There is a trail named after me. Not really though. It was my favorite trail until I remembered how steep it is.

This mountain is huge. Seriously. It's really pretty too.  I do a great job of taking panoramic pictures that make it look like no one else is on the mountain. There really are people here, but I just wait for them to get out of the picture.

The best part about skiing is having Charlie next to me on the chair lift where he can't get away from me so I can ask him tons of questions and talk talk talk and he has to listen, or at least pretend.

Waiting in line for the first lift up to the top of one peak was well worth the wait. "Le Edge" we'll be back tomorrow.

Hot chocolate is delicious. I already knew that though.

This is how you keep your skis from getting stolen. When they aren't locked up I have to carry around the key in my coat pocket. I am so afraid that I will fall and impale myself with the key.

 You can ski right up to our hotel. Here is the trail.

These are my facial expressions when skiing. 1.) AHHHH 2.) Oh no, 3.)Eeek, I'm about to die 4.) I'm alive wahoo!

No lipstick was used in creating this graphic. 

 That's about it. We're having a great time.

Lauren!

Huge Problems Via Bad Pictures and GIF's

These are listed in no particular order of enormity, except the last, which is the most grave.

1. I tried to knit a sweater and realized when I was starting the fourth of six skeins of yarn that I would not have enough. I realized this in November and put the project aside. I just now remembered and it's a fresh wound all over again. I'd like to make something nice out of this yarn. Maybe I'll just make 10 scarves.

Whatever I make, none of it will be done by the end of the winter. 

2. The kit I have for the cross stitch I've been working on since 2008 (have I mentioned this enough?) did not come with enough of one color of embroidery floss. Luckily you can call the company and request more of the color you're missing. Unfortunately, the people who work at the company have sent me the wrong color. Twice! It's the only color I have left to do so I am essentially at a stand still. I was on such a roll too.

Super peeved. 

3. I've finished two dresses recently. Only problem is it's too cold to wear them.

That's my cold face. 

4. I got this new facial scrub. I love it. I dropped it in the shower the other day and the bottle broke. Now it leaks everywhere. That stuff costs a lot and it's dripping all over the shower.

I'm watching you facial scrub.

5. The tennis bracelet Charlie bought me for Christmas lost a jewel today. Luckily he bought the lifetime guarantee. He knows me well.

6. I am making another dress/shirt and I have deviated so much from the pattern that I am now completely lost. The pattern is 0 help, because of above mentioned deviations. The fabric is a pain to sew too.

When I get confused I just give up. See you in 4 years dress. 

7. I accidentally pulled out my retractable tape measure out too far and it won't wind back up.  Now I'll have to keep it in a crumpled mess.

Crumpled mess, you stink. 

8. I've been watching Gossip Girl on Netfix while I sew. I know it's a dumb show, but I like it. It's mindless, I like the clothes, it doesn't matter if I miss 10 minutes because the sewing machine is loud, and most importantly I love/hate Blake Lively. Also, Charlie hates it so it doesn't matter that I watch it while he's not home. In fact, he prefers that. The problem is that Nexflix only has seasons 1-5 and not the last season.

source.

I can only get the last 5 episode of season 6 on Hulu, not the first 5. Who wants to watch the last five without knowing what's already happened? Hulu.....

source.

Will someone who is tech savvy please help me with this? 

source. 

K Thanks!

Lauren

Life Updates: Ugly Hat Edition

I am totally in love, head over heals in love, with "Call the Midwife." I've been trying to restrain myself and watch only one episode then waiting a few days. This goes against every scrap of American nature I've grown to embrace since Netflix invented instant streaming for the ipad.

This sweater is taking me forever.

Sandlot reference anyone? I have started over 3 times, and ripped out thousands of stitches and am still only on the first sleeve. I am taking a break and waiting until mom Mum can help me over Thanksgiving break.

I hate cooking. That's not news to you is it? If so you must not know me well. I hate cooking so much that I have started to not even like eating. I obviously still do, as is apparent by my weight. If I wouldn't get all cranky pants and probably kill someone I would just skip eating in most cases. Can't someone invent a pill I can take that would replace the need for me to eat? It's 2012, let's get on this.



Do you ever feel like you wish you were either smarter or dumber. I see a lot of things around me that should be changed, and have a lot of great (to me) ideas, but I don't have the brain power to execute these ideas. If only I were smarter and could figure out how to make my ideas a reality, or dumber so I didn't have ideas in the first place. Having a solidly average (self diagnosed, no proof) IQ can be so exhausting sometimes. Also, being a prissy know it all who can be doubly as exhausting.

I finished my last ornament today.



It's Friday. For reals, look at a calendar. Woot! It's Friday but it's not Thanksgiving yet. I wish it was. I am already 1/15 packed, which means my crafting supplies are packed.

Charlie and I bought season passes to Ragged Mountain. We have been skiing at Cannon for the last two years, but the Student discount Charlie was getting is over now that he went and graduated. It's also farther from our house and we'd feel bad leaving Penny home alone for that long on the weekends. I just need to invest in a coat that looks like everyone else's and a face mask so none of the kids I work with will recognize me there. I wouldn't look too obvious in this would I?



Speaking of winter wear. Every winter I pull out my homemade hat and Charlie says he won't go anywhere with me if I wear it. I knit it before I learned how to knit in the round so it's just a large piece of knit knitness folded in half and sewn up the sides. I used to wear it all the time in high school. Today he said he would let me continue wearing it if I wrote a blog post about it. That happened after he ripped it off of my head while we were going outside to walk Penny. He purposely lets me get way ahead of them and then crosses the street so he won't be associated with me. Then he said wearing the hat would be comparable to him having a picture he drew in 5th grade on his desk at work. I see no comparison  What's wrong with wearing a silly hat that gives you joy? What's wrong with being proud of how far you have come in your "talents"? (I use the world loosely here.)

On second thought, who needs a panda mask when I can just do this.



Guess I'll be skiing alone a lot.

Did you ever think to yourself in college "Oh boy I can't wait to be 26 so I can write stupid blog posts on a Friday night instead of ragging with my friends." Yeah, me either. I did spent a lot of Friday nights stuck on a coach bus watching "Remember the Titans" and other movies that my teammates had on VHS. I say teammates because I was a division 1 athlete. Was.

My friend told me she liked the first post I did like this one so I decided to do another one. If nothing else it give me some good laughs on a Friday night.

Lauren